The Glory of Mother’s
Day
By Matilda Raffa Cuomo
It was springtime in
ancient Greece when the “Mother
of the Gods,” Rhea, was first celebrated. In the 17th century “Mothering
Sunday” was started in England on the 4th Sunday
of Lent (before Easter). Servants were given the day off to
return home and enjoy a “Mothering Cake” which
they prepared for the celebration of their mothers. In England,
the holiday later changed to “Mother Church” Day,
honoring the church as spiritual mother, as well as their own
mothers.
In 1872, Julia Ward
Howe, who wrote the lyrics to the “Battle
Hymn of the Republic,” organized “Mother’s
Day” meetings in the United States for the first time
in Boston. In 1907, in Philadelphia, Ann Jarvis stated a campaign
to make “Mother’s Day” a national holiday.
By 1911, Mother’s Day was celebrated in almost every
state in our country. Finally, in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson
proclaimed Mother’s Day a national holiday to be celebrated
every year on the second Sunday of May. We should be grateful
to all the visionary people who gave us the opportunity to
remember and respect motherhood, one of society’s most
vital and endearing institutions.
I can still remember
the joy I experienced when one of the my five children—my daughter Maria—was born on
Mother’s Day, and I was presented with a pink carnation
in the hospital. A family support system enables a new mother
to transition easily into a new lifestyle. All mothers recall
the deprivation of sleep with a newborn baby. From the beginning,
parenting is a selfless giving for the child’s well being.
In many cases, out of necessity, many mothers must balance
their home life with working outside the home. At best, this
is not easy and both parents have to compromise and plan a
strategy for the sake of the children.
As every mother knows,
parenting can also be an arduous experience as well as a
rewarding one. That’s especially true for
young women who become mothers at a time when they have neither
the material advantages nor mature judgment or experience to
deal with the multiple needs of infants and young children.
In addition, too many women are confronted with terrible situations
and relationships beyond their control.
Unfortunately, too
many mothers do not receive a Hallmark card and flowers on
Mother’s Day. HELP U.S.A. has instituted
fifteen transitional and prominent housing facilities for the
homeless in NY State including “HELP Haven” and “HELP
Harbor” that offer all sorts of support services and
protections for struggling mothers who are victims of domestic
violence; an ugly and frighteningly common syndrome that threatens
both mothers and their children. Statistics tell us that, annually,
65 million women are physically assaulted by an intimate partner.
Many of these victims are educated, professional women from
all walks of life—no longer the stereotype of only lower
class women being afflicted.
Necola Eason, the “HELP Harbor” Site Director
of Client Services, informed me that at present there are 100
women and 181 children at “HELP Haven” and “HELP
Harbor,” combined. The crisis center “HELP Haven,” a
Tier I facility, deals with emergency situations and stability
whereas “HELP Harbor,” a Tier II transitional facility,
deals with mental health, family dynamics—a longer relationship
for struggling mothers to get housing and develop a work ethic
for themselves to support their children.
What is the meaning
of Mother’s Day for these survivors
of domestic violence? Necola Eason interviews two survivor
mothers, the following are their responses.
Ms. Cooper, living
at HELP Haven, is a 35-year-old woman and has a four-year-old
child. Unlike last year, which was sad and scary, this Mother’s Day will be special because
she and her son are safe and she will “count her blessings.” As
a mother and survivor she has changed her attitude and developed
a closer relationship with her son. Her advice on Mother’s
Day is, “Focus on your child and yourself and everything
else is secondary.”
This year Ms. Rose,
from HELP Harbor, a 43-year-old single mother with a fifteen-year-old
daughter will be spending Mother’s
Day together as they always do. This year she demonstrated
patience and perseverance to meet the educational and health
needs of her daughter. Both she and her daughter have asthma
and diabetes. According to Ms. Rose, being a survivor of domestic
violence has made her stronger and she tells her daughter, “Don’t
settle for less, because you are worth it.” Ms. Rose
describes Mother’s Day as “truly a blessing.”
We remember all our
mothers on Mother’s Day — we
love them and thank them for their unconditional love for us — we
respect and appreciate their wisdom even more as we grow older
and we miss them. #
Former NYS First Lady Matilda Cuomo is Founder and Chairperson
of Mentoring USA.
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