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JUNE 2005

Father’s Day

By Matilda Raffa Cuomo

Surprisingly, the United States is one of only a few countries in the world that sets aside one day of the year to honor fathers, and it took a woman, inspired by a Mother’s Day sermon in 1909, to think of the idea. Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington had been raised by her father after her mother died while Sonora was still a young child. His patience, wisdom, courage and selflessness won her love and admiration. To express her gratitude and to give other children an opportunity to do so for their father, she promoted into existence the first Father’s Day in June 1910, during the month of her Dad’s birth.

In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge institutionalized the holiday by proclaiming the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day, when red roses would be worn for a living father and white for one who is deceased.

One would have expected a formal recognition of the father’s significant role long before Mother’s Day of 1910.

In primitive societies the father was lionized as the dominant family figure and the symbol of leadership. The Bible paid fathers the ultimate token of respect by picturing God Himself as “Father of the World,” with the Christians giving the mother a strong runner-up role. That has remained the symbolism until today, and to a great extent it accurately reflects the strong role the father plays in shaping the lives of their children—and, therefore, of society.

Sigmund Freud said, “I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” The brilliant educator and social psychologist, Dr. Kenneth D. Clark, in his superb work, “Dark Ghetto,” pointed out that boys without a strong and sound father-figure in their life on which to model their behavior often lapse into unstable and irresponsible relationships with girls. Some attempt to identify and affirm their masculinity by seducing and dominating as many girls as possible, confusing masculinity with sexual prowess. Clark opined further that without a healthy father-figure in her life, a young girl’s yearning for acceptance and identity can lead her into numerous frivolous sexual relationships inviting all the obvious problems they can cause.

These are truly tragic realities in these days of single parent households, with the father usually the missing parent. Today approximately 67 percent of the families in homeless shelters have only one parent. In many classrooms children living in a two parent household are the exception rather than the rule.

Many family problems today can trace at least a significant part of the fault to the absence of a father-figure. Nearly twenty years ago, in an attempt to help fill the dangerous vacuum that failure creates in a child’s life, the State of New York established a mentoring program providing trained mentors who brought to children-at-risk some of the companionship, instruction, affection and reassurance that are best provided by two loving, devoted, and competent parents. As First Lady, I supervised the first national, statewide, one-to-one New York State Mentoring program from 1983 to 1995 and thereafter continued a private, not-for-profit mentoring program for at-risk children called Mentoring USA or MUSA.

Today MUSA provides mentors for some one thousand boys and girls in after school programs and community sites including HELP’s facilities in Manhattan, the Bronx, and Brooklyn.

Sonora Smart Dodd has left a meaningful legacy, honoring our fathers because they are special from the beginning of our lives, nurturing us, giving us counsel and by example teaching us values. As we grow older we realize and appreciate the patience and sacrifices of our fathers. We honor our fathers for a lifetime. #

Former NYS First Lady Matilda Cuomo is Founder and Chairperson of Mentoring USA.

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